Weather or whether?

I was reading an email that a friend wrote. Halfway through, you could see me visibly twitch. I stumbled across a question asking me "weather or not" they should do something. I corrected them, which got us talking about weather in general. Here in Colorado, the weather is really unique.

Ask most Coloradans and they would probably quote this phrase or similar: If you don't like the weather, cross the street.
Once, I was in the backyard of a house we lived in farther south. It was raining and so I walked to the other side, where it wasn't. Then I stood half in the rain and half out.

I'm not saying that this happens all the time, but the weather does change drastically. If it's sunny in the morning, make sure to bring a raincoat with you, because it may be raining later. Spring and Autumn are the worst. Last spring, it was sunny in the first part of the day. In the afternoon, all within one hour, it rained, snowed, became sunny and rained again.

Whether or not the weather is nice during one part of the day, it may not be on the other side of the street. If you're on vacation and want to have a good time, I guess it depends on whether or not you have the right clothing for the weather. Something to keep in mind, tourists.

A Weird Conversation In Manitou

These are the kinds of conversations I get into in Manitou.

There I was, minding my own business. Then someone came up to me and asked me what I thought about evolution. I said, I didn't know or really care.

Then, the person said something to the effect of: "Well, I believe in it. But this ape stuff is bologna. We actually came from chickens."

"Uh-huh. I ... wait. What?"

The person in question began to explain to me his theory on how we actually evolved from chickens. I tried to disprove it, but the longer we talked, the more confused I became and I ended up beginning to agree that, yes, we must have evolved from chickens. We used to have beaks and we laid eggs. There was no way we came from apes, because that just doesn't make nearly as much sense as coming from chickens ... right? Uh, cheep.

Tourists in Summer

Here in Manitou Springs...wait. Let me start over. Anyplace tourists can be found is always a delightful place to people-watch. Here, great swarms of Harley Davidson's and SUV's cover the town. Out pop these families that smell like cotton candy and sunscreen, wearing jeans and 'COLORADO' t-shirts. Strolling in their little sandals and pulling incongruous amounts of money and candy wrappers out of their fanny packs. Too busy looking at an old building to watch where they are going, ending up falling on their faces.

You've gotta love 'em. In fact, I have heard numerous stories of fellow Manitoids (that is what we're called)having a little bit of fun with the camera-wielders. Some like to trip the tourists, some like to give phony directions, some like to give them tastes of Iron Springs just to watch them spit and gag.

Hope this stuff doesn't turn all you tourists off out there. The majority of locals will actually help you out if you need it. Tourism is our main business. It is what gives us the money to actually survive the rest of the year.

If you are a tourist, but want to fit in, here is my advice:
Get yourself some nice dreadlocks. Find an old, dirty, tie-dye shirt with holes in it and a pair of too-big, dirty pants with holes in the knees. Put these on. Grow your fingernails long and let dirt collect underneath. Find yourself some old, worn-in, worn-out pair of All-Star sneakers. Wear them.

Or you could do what I do: dress weird in any which way. No matter what, if you dress weird, you will probably fit in OK.